This week is the official blog tour for Clouds That Were by Addison Footit and she kindly provided me with a free copy of it so I could be a part of it! First things first, here’s the blurb….
Have you ever had a nightmare only to awake and find your life is worse than a nightmare?
A child conceived by mistake, born because there was no other option.
Your life is hell. You can’t succeed, you can’t be happy, you can’t even be sad. You can’t be anything.
I never thought I would make it to my eighteenth birthday, I figured I’d be dead by then. I just wanted to make my mother happy, and I always knew the only way to succeed at that was by ceasing to exist.
And then I met Chase. He saved me. From her, from myself, and in the end, from death.
My life was so dark and cloudy for so long, I never thought I would see the sun. But with Chase, they were merely clouds that were.
First off, for those of you hoping for a happy bit of light reading then this isn’t going to be the book for you. It’s a deep, heart-wrenching and dark read – a story of psychological abuse and depression that’s really quite thought provoking.
Tenley has spent her life completely alone with only her psychotic mother for company. Constantly told she was never wanted, that her mother wished she was aborted but was only kept to keep the control that her mother craved, life was already bad enough. But never being allowed out, to have friends, boyfriends or even to finish her homework in the house because her mother doesn’t want her to have anything, or achieve anything, that she never could supposedly because of Tenley, her life is nothing short of miserable.
Used to living in the shadows, of being completely invisible, Tenley isn’t prepared for when the new boy Chase takes notice of her and completely turns her life upside down. In a whirlwind romance Tenley finally lets someone in and allows herself to dream about a life so very different from her one so far – one full of love, hope, dreams and peace…one where she finally feels like she’s wanted and loved. But is Chase’s love and support enough to pull Tenley out of a life of depression and hurt?
This story is not like your average teenage romance novel – it’s so deeply touching and utterly heart-wrenching. The life that Tenley has lead is just so horrific it brings you to tears and some of her internal monologues have you sobbing. Her struggle and her emotions leap off the page and her relationship with Chase is nothing short of beautiful. He’s not the dominant alpha male we’ve come to expect in our romance novels nowadays – he’s sweet, caring and determined to rescue Tenley and fill her life with the love she deserves…in other words he’s truly wonderful.
There are only a couple of ‘negative’ comments I can make and to be honest they’re not really negative. When I say that Tenley and Chase have a whirlwind romance I really do mean a whirlwind – they basically pronounce their love for one another after a few days which some may say is unrealistic but sometimes that’s all it takes, and after a completely loveless life you can understand why Tenley fell as hard as she did…so I’m going to let that one go ;). Secondly the ending…what a cliffhanger!!! At first I didn’t think there was a sequel and was utterly enraged until I turned the page and discovered there was more! There are so many questions left unanswered and it’s almost like the story is just cut short. But I guess that’s just going to encourage us back for more!
With emotions that leap off the page, that make you feel Tenley’s hurt, anger and despair deep in your soul this book is nothing short of beautiful, touching and heart-breaking. So exquisitely written with main character’s you can’t help but adore, this is a story which will shatter you completely and yet fill you with hope that even in the darkest of hours, there’s always a glimmer of hope.
Dying for more? Well Addison sent me this excerpt just for you…..
“This weekend is going to be harder than most. It’s homecoming weekend. Since I’m only a freshman, it’s not like it’s a huge deal; but still, everyone else is going, and it’s difficult, to say the least, for me to have to be home for no reason. Well, the actual reason is that my mother didn’t get to go anywhere when she was my age because she was pregnant, so since I am the reason she couldn’t go, she doesn’t let me go either.
However if you ask my mother why, the reason would be that I lied. I didn’t lie, but she thinks I did because she never can remember the way things really happen, so she kind of just, I don’t know, makes it up I guess. The truth is, though, that it wouldn’t matter. I can’t do anything right in her eyes, so by now I just live my life under the assumption that even if I haven’t done anything wrong yet, I will. So I don’t plan things.
That’s the worst part. I wouldn’t go to homecoming anyway. I don’t have any friends, and certainly not a boyfriend, all thanks to her. So why would I go? It would be nice if the choice could be mine though.
It’s difficult for me to understand the way the girls all carry on about dresses and shoes and who is doing their hair. I can’t even imagine a world where those would be the most important things on my mind. Instead, I think about what kind of mood my mother will be in when I get home. How many extra chores am I going to have to do this weekend because of some imaginary thing I did wrong? And most often my thoughts are consumed with simply surviving another day. I have never thought about shoes for more than the time it takes me to put them on in the morning, and even then, I have a hundred other more important things on my mind.
It takes everything I have, every day, just to make it through. I keep to myself, try to stay off of the radar. I used to try to fit in, be as normal as possible, but it was just pointless. If I got close to someone, my mother just looked at that as something else she could take away from me to make me miserable.”
Want more? Check out Clouds That Were for yourself…
About Addison Footit
Hello I am Addison! I grew up in the great state of Wisconsin and am a Wisconsin girl through and through, although seriously, it’s not a bubbler, it’s a water fountain. Anyway, I fought being a writer for 33 years before finally giving it to it, and now I can’t imagine doing anything else. I am a wife and a mother to three kiddos! When I am not watching them play soccer, or baseball, or basketball, I enjoy photography, reading (of course) and I am learning to love landscaping.